Three strikes….I’m out!!
This past week people have just been over the top on the “you are seriously pissing me off meter”. Now let me start by saying I do not get easily offended. Nor am I some sissy crybaby but come on people. It seems like the filters are just gone or I have hit me with your best shot written all over my face. The first exchange came when I was home one evening after a long day at work, then taught my exercise class, then came home to bake cupcakes. Already not in the mood to tussle. The home phone rings, which usually I do not answer, but the number came from a local number from the town I work in so I decided I should answer it. Pick it up and some Arab who obviously spoofed the number asks for my husband. I politely tell him he is not home and...
Tastes like ass!
Nope, you didn’t almost spit that crap out because I said something sarcastic and funny. You spit that overpriced, bottle of what you call water out because it tastes like ass! So, you walk into Starbucks and I don’t know what you are trying to prove. Maybe you are saving calories or maybe you are just trying to see my quizzical expression but out of nowhere my husband decides to buy some Pelligrino/Perrier carbonated high class water bullshit. Seriously?! Who are you and what planet did you just descend from? As not to belittle him in public I wait until we get in the car to question this new desire to buy expensive water. I start getting what I think might be a valid explanation considering I tried this same move on him when we attempted the...
Communication is the tur-KEY!
Let’s start with the moral of the story first! I am tired of feeling guilty. Guilty because you morons who call yourself related cannot or are afraid to or are just too stupid to communicate with one another. Which one is it and, honestly, what is the worst that can happen? You don’t hear the answer you want and you get your sissy la la ass offended. Really in this day and time you don’t even need to HEAR it you will all just text each other anyway and you will just see it on a screen, assume a sarcastic tone, not speak for months again, and you can just delete the freaking text. So, this seems to be an ongoing problem with so many situations big or small but it just tends to be magnified around the holidays whether it be Mother’s...
I WEAR MY SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT WELL WHENEVER I NEED TO IF YOU MUST ASK!
As I am quickly approaching the big 4-0 I am finding more of a need for things I never wanted or at least wanted to be rid of as I got older. I mean this in a couple ways but both are due to age. First, I am very lucky to have been and still consider myself a pretty healthy person. No major illnesses, accidents, near death experiences to date. However, as I age I am finding that I am experiencing these things, surprises, with my body that I never wanted, nor did I ask for but I am learning to live with them and I guess I am learning to accommodate my lifestyle to whatever my ailment is. Sure, I have had my share of recent foot pain, back pain, etc. These are all things that most people can see when I am suffering from them due to the way I am walking or the...
Do You Know, Nope, No Way, Who?
So, I will be the first to admit it. I am the worst specimen of a Sussex Countian on the planet. Is that really that bad? Seriously though, lately I have been inundated with the DO YOU KNOW? question. Nope, no I don’t. Never did, probably never will, and probably don’t want to. And people look at me like I have 10 heads when I say I have no idea who they are talking about. Honestly folks, doesn’t everyone die famous in a small town? But a little bit of background on the person you probably think is an anti-social bitch or just downright stupid. I am the first in my bloodline to be born “below the canal”. My family is all from that hated part of Delaware that you all talk so negatively about and I just sit back and bite my...
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